Listening is a skill that is becoming more and more difficult to cultivate. Technology has ensured that all communication happens at lightning-speed and that conversations should include only what is necessary (and preferably in point form!). This has led to a society that has replaced listening with waiting to speak. However, at work, at home and with our friends, it is vital that we learn to listen effectively. Doing so helps us to:
- Form better relationships with colleagues, employees, employers, family and friends
- Understand our job description, roles in the home and assignments better
- Work more effectively as part of a team or group
- Resolve issues
- Answer questions effectively and succinctly
- Read between the lines of what someone is saying and what they actually mean
When attending events and meetings, it is easy to become distracted by other people, the venue, the food, or something that is on your mind. However, to benefit fully from the discourse, it is important to train yourself to listen and digest the information.
This can be done by employing the following tactics:
- Make eye contact with the speaker so that you do not become distracted.
- Do not interrupt the person while they are still busy speaking. They may forget their point or be put off continuing.
- Do not fidget, scratch or shift around unnecessarily.
- Lean towards the person talking and nod in agreement when you feel it is appropriate.
- If you are speaking on a one-on-one basis, repeat instructions to ensure that you have understood them fully.
- Take short, concise notes, if necessary.
- When the other person is talking, do not think about what you can say next. Just listen. There is nothing wrong with a short period of silence when they are done for you to assimilate your thoughts and compose a response. However, if you are so eager to make your contribution, you may actually miss their point completely.
- While listening carefully, try to ascertain whether the person’s body language and facial expressions correspond with what they are saying. If not, you will likely need to read between the lines to get their meaning. However, assumption is dangerous. Be sure that you have the right message by repeating it back to the person. Alternatively, say things like “Do you mean…?”, “It sounds like you feel irritated by…”, or “That must have been annoying”.
- Listening is an active exercise. Concentrate and work on doing it properly.
- If you find yourself being distracted or starting to daydream, change positions, have a sip of water and redirect your attention to the speaker.
- Speakers frequently require that you just listen. They do not necessarily want a solution or your personal experience. They just need to convey the information or vent. Allow them to do this without having to add your two cents’ worth.
- Identify potential barriers to listening and try to minimise these. These include prejudice, difficulty in understanding an accent, stress, fatigue, hunger, and background noise.
Photo Courtesy of Get Entrepreneurial
